Sideways Cat says, "What's friendship?"

Wikipedia's definition of Friendship:

Friendship is a term used to denote co-operative and supportive behavior between two or more people. In this sense, the term connotes a relationship which involves mutual knowledge, esteem, and affection and respect along with a degree of rendering service to friends in times of need or crisis. Friends will welcome each other's company and exhibit loyalty towards each other, often to the point of altruism. Their tastes will usually be similar and may converge, and they will share enjoyable activities. They will also engage in mutually helping behavior, such as exchange of advice and the sharing of hardship. A friend is someone who may often demonstrate reciprocating and reflective behaviors. Yet for many, friendship is nothing more than the trust that someone or something will not harm them.

Interesting.

I like to think that I'm a pretty fair person. I'm fairly open-minded, I strive to be a good friend and listener, and I'm good people. I'm not vain or narcissistic, but I am confident. It may come across as cocky and arrogant sometimes, but when you realize that I'm actually humbled every day, by my chronic pain, you may feel differently about me. I fight my battle, and I think I'm allowed to be proud of myself for fighting the pain.

One of the things that I've focused most on, in the past year, has been cutting out relationships or people who have proven toxic to my life. I understand that there is no fail-safe way to avoid drama, it's in our human nature, I don't care what anyone says - we were born to gossip. I do my share, as I'm only human, and misery loves human flesh. Or is it company?  

Now, because I have a wide array of useless knowledge, I get along with quite a few people, and tend to make friends quickly and easily. Having a pretty face doesn't hurt the process, either... but I digress... I don't take enough time to truly get to know someone before I invest my time in a friendship (or any relationship, really) with them. It's something is new and fresh, and we can't get enough of it. We lust for it until it wilts and begins to rot due to neglect, it's not as fun anymore. The blame game begins - each blaming the other for the ruining the friendship. This has happened to me recently, and has really knocked me off balance.

Once a friend has poisioned the well, and has created drama and upset for the people surrounding them, they deserve whatever karma has in store for them. I believe "forgive, but never forget" applies in this situation, and I believe that people generally deserve what they get, in the long run. Of course, I'm speaking about someone and something specific, but attempting to relate it to the bigger picture that is my life...

I wish people would think. REALLY think about what they're going to say before they say it. If you have actually done the same thing to me that you are complaining about, then I'm not going to have sympathy, and I'm probably gonna get angry. When you whined about someone not paying rent, crashing on your couch, not complying to your 'requests', and not contributing to housework... I'd like you to take a moment to remember last March, and I'd like you to make sure that you weren't doing those exact same things to me.

 Until you realize how your actions and words can affect someone, you need to shut your mouth. You need to think really, really hard about why things went wrong, and where they went wrong, and what part YOU took in the situation. Stop blaming everyone else for your circumstances; they're nobody's fault except your own. I rarely say 'I told you so' - but with that guy, I told you so. He lied, was irresponsible, led two girls on at once, and was an ugly piece of dirt. I picked it up right away, and I was never shy about expressing my opinion, so I don't understand why you're surprised in the least. It may seem unsympathetic, but it's true, and sometimes the truth sucks.

I don't know how I can be friends with someone who thinks I'm being overly dramatic about my pain. People lack compassion for the invisible illnesses - until someone they love is affected. Then, the world is an unfair and unjust place, where only bad things happen to good people... woe is you. I have my days where I'm down in the dumps and not feeling good, but I try not to wallow in my self-pity. The "poor me" pity party thing used to work in high school, but it doesn't get you far as an adult. At some point, I had to learn to manage a full-time life on top of a full-time illness, and I just keep moving along - one foot in front of the other. There really is no other option, the way I see it. 

=)