The store is too brightly lit for five in the morning. It smells like a strange mix of halloween candy, makeup, and photo processing chemicals. Ah, the aroma.
Luckily, I have a friend along side me, to support me, in case I panic and become suddenly irrational... they can do the talking for me.
Thankfully, I'm able to approach the store employee and easily procure all of the items I'd intended to buy [without any of the embarrassing or horrific outcomes I'd imagined coming true]. Success!
Most of the fear and confusion I've had surrounding today has had nothing to do with the current situation or people who are in my life at this time. It had everything to do with a situation that I was forced to deal with almost 8 years ago. Then is not now, and they are not you. I am obviously not the same as I was 8 years ago. I grew and fought.
The pain, fear, and sadness might eventually fade with time; but my dreams will always be filled with the memories of powerlessness. I'm haunted by the images I remember, and terrified of the ones I can't recall.
I'm different and the same, now. The things that have happened in order to shape my life have been extraordinary, baffling, and frustrating at varying times. I'm never afraid to be alone... it's being lonely that I'm afraid of... and when you push enough people away, you end up both alone and lonely.
Then what?
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